Tuesday, 16 September 2014

What men think of Nigerian women!

I logged on to my Facebook page the other day and strolled through my timeline to see what was new. I came across this Dude's post and I paused to read his comments (I always stop to read the comments under his posts). The post was ''Nigeria women are...''

I laughed so hard it was impossible to breathe. How did we get such a reputation? In between my fits of laughter, I saw myself reflected in some of the comments.

I obtained the permission of the Dude that put up the post and I have removed the names of those who made the comments.
 
Read. Laugh. Self-reflect. We are definitely a group of amazing women.

***************************

Nigerian Women Are...
 
''Capable of making a hiss last for an hour''
 
''Troublesome''       

''Some of them are impeccable crocodile tears manufacturing units''
 
''Love that Church life''
 
''Only vacation, where they can shop''

''Can speak 10 universal languages with their eyes''
 
''Always have their man's back''
 
''''They pack more heat and laser power in their eyes than superman! You berra come correct at a parry or they can look you up and down and erase you..
 
''Will force a man to watch NollyWood movies''
 
'' Only humans, I would rather have physically assault me than the abuse that comes from their mouth''

'' Are the reason why the airlines have STRICT limits on luggage weights and hand luggages!''

'' Are saving and planning for life after their husband's death''

'' Naija women are the only women in the world that will jump out of a car to beat Mopol that is disrespecting you''

 
''Could be the best thing God created and also be your worst nightmare''
 
''Will out eat their man''

'' They will build a six flat building in Lekki while the hubby is still paying their nursing school student loan

 
''...are sarcasm machines''
 
''...are the reason Nigerian men scam people''
 
''Know how to use the same mouth they use to curse a man out to also sweet talk him when they want to ask for something
 
'' Got their own version of ''sidechicks'' but they call them toasters''
 
''Queens of Awoof''
 
''Notorious for reminding you how successful your mates are''
 
''Cheap Dates''
 
'' Love 18 or 22 Carat Italian Gold''
 
''Can cause World War 3 with her mouth''

''Naija women will borrow money from their daddy to help you pay your rent.... Loyalty

 
''Can talk you to death and then back to life''
 
'' Can drive from New York to Florida by mouth''
 
'' Girdles Best friend''
 
''Don't really care much for candy and chocolate but love fried meat''
 
''Are strong women. And many Nigerian men cannot handle them that is why they marry Non-Nigerian women''
 
'' Will never leave you as long as you pay the bills''
 
''So gangsta that they will hold out on sex with their husbands for 3 years and you will never know by the way she cooks for him everyday''
 
'' The best mothers on earth but they ask your friends too many questions''

In totality, I don't think the world would be interesting without the Nigerian woman. She is beautiful and talented, even with her eyes.

Gros Bisous.

Monday, 8 September 2014

Through His Eyes-The Expectation of the Unexpected.

He understood that the complexities of human pranks escaped me. As much as I look like I am all grown and worldly, he knew I was just a little girl eager to explore the world and be loved.

He cyber stalked me till we met *smiles* and every conversation that we had before and after proved that this was going to be an interesting chapter of my life.

When he whispered into my ears that he loved me , I believed him. He was content to sit and talk with me for hours, laugh with me and at me till we were both crying. He stimulated all my senses especially my ever-revolving mental sense.

He loved how excited I was about the world, He wanted to show me all that he had seen, he wanted to visit new places and experience the rush of excitement with me.

Me. Me, the one someone said was unlovable.

He said my voice calmed him when faced with the frustrations of the world at work. And it was easy to be calm and gentle around him, he brought out the best in me.

But...

I was afraid. I have been down this road before and I got hurt. Very hurt. But when I look at myself through his eyes, I see a beautiful woman loved for everything I am, even my warts.

Admirably, he was adamant my voice was the first he wanted to hear when he woke up. He said nuzzling my ears was the last thing he wanted to do before he slept.

And when we did the permanent ceremony...he swore he would protect me. He would forsake everyone else for me. And he has.

I was afraid I would have to hide her body, but he cast aside every shame I felt and memorized every inch of my body instead. My breasts were a delight to him and not a curse.

Joy had systematically taken over fear. And the lightening bulb of wisdom reminds me that we are only here on earth briefly and while I am here, I must experience Joy.

You are Joy. You are love.
 
Culled from my daydreams. Lol
 
Gros Bisous.