Wednesday, 16 July 2014

That thing called Temptation...

You know it is wrong.
 
That sweet foreboding interest in that thing or person that is ''out of bounds'' That desire to perform an action that you will enjoy for a short term but will regret immensely.
 
You look away, you stay away. You do not want to hurt anyone, you do not want to be at the mercy of that forbidden thing or action.
 
You have heard so many things said about Temptation. You know you shouldn't be tempted. As a Christian, you sing ''Yield Not to temptation, For yielding is sin'' and every cell, every neuron knows you should avoid this terrible desire to plunge into this hole of sweet sweet temptation.
 
Oh but you want to, you want to eat that piece of red velvet cake, you want to dial that number you know you have no business remembering, you want to dig into your desires and forget that there are consequences for your action.
 
So you mull over it (if you are thinker) and keep generating and accepting self-made excuses for why you must give in to your desires.
 
And when your body will not give in to the desire, you surround yourself with your friends (Yes, those ones with suspended moral fibres) those friends that will echo your thoughts, those friends who will subtly inform you that your desires are meek next to the actions they carry out.
 
Then comes the rationalization.
 
''Just this once'' ''No one will know''  ''Just One bite'' ''It feels too good to be true'' ''Now or Never''
 
...and all the myriad of excuses our brain cells can generate.
 
And should you decide to Fall.......
 
**Whoosh** the sounds that wake you up. The sounds that lets you know you have made a big mistake and you run it through your mind a thousand times before you accept that you deliberately chose impulse over self-control.
 
That thing called Temptation...
 
But like that character from the TV series ''Perception'' said
 
Temptation: The fight between impulse and self control. When we exercise self restraint, we have better mental health.
 
It is just through my eyes.

Monday, 14 July 2014

Theory of The Modern Wife by Lucas Togan

EVER wondered why it was so easy for your MOTHER to SUBMIT to your father with less hassles than YOU do to your partner or husband? And even easier for your grandmother and the generation before hers to their spouses? Well I think I got it figured...

A few generations ago, ECONOMIC POWER was to the PHYSICALLY strongest in society. Say biggest farmer. In the eastern part of Nigeria (Western Africa), your economic power was measured by the size of your yam barns. Men produced yams and their wives - vegetables (less energy intensive). In the west, it went to the owner of the biggest plantation (by all accounts men controlled the slaves that worked those fields - no women in any account I have seen or read). Needless to say that the men folk were always on top. Women had no choice but to be SUBORDINATES to their men.

However, with the rise of the Industrial Age, the power shifted from physical strength to MENTAL PRODUCTIVITY. Formal education thus became ever so important. This POWER SHIFT however introduced an element of equality between the sexes that wasn't there before. Women, just like men, now had a chance at economic relevance. Whereas in the farm age men tilled the land and women cooked the harvest, women could now "till" and "cook". 

As simplistic as the result of this theory might seem, women are shocked to realise that after being subjected to exactly the same conditions all through their academic pursuits and examination conditions as men, they are marginalized in the economy that they enter after graduation. Some unwritten law prevents them from reaching the heights that men routinely attain. The system seems to subject them to extra tests in order to achieve the same positions as their male counterparts who went through exactly the same academic process. If the criteria for economic relevance is academic excellence, then WOMEN expect to be EQUAL to MEN.

This is the thinking of the MODERN WIFE. She has been through exactly the same formative years as her husband. She probably did better than he did through those years as well and probably wields an equal or better economic power in their partnership. She finds it difficult to understand how he can be superior or even entertain the idea of any kind of superiority in their union. She wants him to ACKNOWLEDGE their equality. She wants him to CONSIDER and RESPECT her input. She does not want to fight the SYSTEM and her HUSBAND for relevance. SHE CAN NOT BE IRRELEVANT AT WORK AND AT HOME.

Being the founder of the formal education system, the west has been able to harmonise this conflict and men have come to respect and understand the equality that women crave - at least in the home front. However, Africa still struggles with this because formal education is an import for us and submission from a woman is more natural to how the African man perceives his authority in the home and society. The problem is that the AFRICAN MAN fails to realise that the modern wife is more SELF AWARE and understands her true VALUE and POTENTIAL in the economy and in life. She has been properly educated and is emancipated from these "archaic" mind sets. 

I believe that the solution is for the African man to seek a paradigm shift. He should not see equality as insubordination, rather he should consider it a challenge from the wife and seek other ways to earn her trust and submission rather than the archaic means of threats, battery, coercion and deprivation.

#conversationswithself #journeytoself #musings