Tuesday, 23 April 2013

The Mills & Boon ripple effect.

I started reading Mills & Boons at age eight (for you younglings, they are novels about romance) and read it well past my secondary school days.
When you were in boarding school and loved reading, an M & B as we called it was/is a timeless piece for a girl who loves the idea of love.
Most of the books started with a desription of how tall, dark and well built the men were and how beautiful, fierce and stubborn the girl was.
The men were always depicted as playboys who did not realise early that they loved the female character till late in the day when she was about to leave town or date someone else. The men are painted as getting on airplanes or horses (as the period required) to woo the women back with firm and swooning words.
It is what many women are waiting for these days. Men from the fantasy world. (Girl: Reality Check!If he doesn't realise he loves you now, chances are he will never realise it. If you threaten to leave him for another man, he probably will let you go and pick up the phone to call the next broad once you shut the door, if you are expecting him to spend all his money chasing you down round the world, he may just be buying a ticket for his vacation)
What you need to do Hun is manage your expectation.
Let me explain real quick!
While you were reading M & B, that boy(who is now the cute man) was busy playing Nintendo or Forty thieves or shooting his other boy friend and possibly you with water guns.
So how do you expect your two different parallel paths to converge? How do you suppose they will become the man in your M & B book when all they did was act stupid about games and guns?
So while we etched the words of fantasy writers into our hearts, the boys that would grow up to woo us were being boys.
Stop searching for that character with the perfect blend of manliness, handsomeness, sensitivity, wealth, ruggedness, perfect manners, rescuers of damsels in distress, sending flower dude. A guy that can switch from gisting about girly stuff to a manly man. My dear, it is ALL a fantasy
This books were/are the start of many failed relationships and possibly marriages.
I am a bit pissed at those books because it created an escape from the reality that most living breathing men are not like the ones described in the Mills & Boons books. So while the publishers have made millions from us, we ladies have sustained broken hearts because the men we thought we would marry don't meet our expectations.
So word of advice, men, when you meet a lady and you truly like her, I believe your first question should be hey, how many Mills & Boons have you read?

Don't laugh, it may just help you manage her expectations.
Like I say, it is just through my eyes.
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