Wednesday, 3 April 2013

How do I stop hating my husband?

'I hate him. I cannot stand him. I didn't realise it but I cannot forgive my husband. Morenike told me.

He has beaten me, he has cheated on me, he has betrayed the trust I had in him. The vows we exchanged on our beautiful wedding day are all lies.
I have loved him through years of lack, I have loved him through ups and downs. I have given my all. I am angry and bitter. More importantly, I am concerned about my health.
These days, I am numb. I feel nothing. I do not even rationalize his behaivour.
People have counselled us, they have prayed for us and even though I know that he is trying to change. I cannot forgive this man who has been the source of pain to me for the past 5 years.'
As I listened to this woman ache loudly, I wondered what advice was best to give her. She was frail, she looked unhappy. The lady I knew with boundless energy and a love for life and people was fading into the shadows.
She did not have the strength she used to, she did not look as fantastic as she used to. She was spent.
Do I tell her to endure in a loveless marriage?
Do I tell her walk away from her husband of 5 years. Shouldn't they just work out their problems? 

Or should they just walk away from each other, their relationship was causing more harm than good.

What do you tell a woman so hurt that she no longer feels. Every emotion in her body screams resentment.


  1. This is a veru bold and beautiful expression. I think it may be mroe common than we all know.

  2. Before you have us comment and debate, and more importantly before you advise her, listen the man's side of the story. A story always has 3 sides - the one, the other and the TRUTH.

  3. Yesterday i listened to Winners bible study online and the pastor made reference to something that probably is the answer for this woman. He said a lady came to his office asking to be tested as she wanted to know her blood sugar level but the pastor asked her why she needed it and she said her husband of many years wants to take another wife and so he asked her if she was married she said yes the number of children she said 6 and if they be in school she said they are all working and some other questions and he wrote the seven things she had answered and gave her the prescription of the seven things she has answered by herself and said go home and thank God for all these things and many more God has done while you are married to this man do not for the next three days ask God for anything just go rejoice and in less than two days the man gave up on marrying another wife and she has been happy. sometimes the person with the pain might be praise away from what she wants. The joy of the Lord is my strength, hence when confronted with issues beyond your control don't ask God for anything but praise God for everything. Tell her to praise God because that is a mountain mover, she should praise with understanding. Praise has worked for me in situation i could not handle and i am glad. Give it a try, God hates divorce.

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