Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Under my bed, My Bank!

I eagerly accepted the cheque from my dad. The dude was loaning me money to ...(cannot say, thank you very much)

I ran out of the door into my car and straight to the nearest Union Bank branch I could find. It turned out to be the chevron branch.

It was lunch time and the whole bank was filled up. It was the end of the month and people were trying to get on the queue.

I joined the queue eager to withdraw my money and head about the business for which it was borrowed.

When it got to my turn, the cashier in a quipped irritated voice told me ' Stand over there'

Duh  'Stand over there?'

I just stared in disbelief quickening the reasoning part of my brain to string words that would effectively describe my thoughts towards this rude woman.

She was elderly. That immediately meant normal abuse was out of it but did she honestly think that I was her kid? I mean this was a bank, what happened to customer service?

Someone behind me noticing my incredulous stare and stance just said, well that is how they behave. Behave?

I contained myself and I asked 'why would you like me to step aside?' She replied that the server was down and there was nothing that she could do. I kept mute, afraid that what may come out of  my mouth may border on insults.

Thirty minutes passed and there still was no word on the situation.
I left after an hour but it left a tasteless feeling in my mouth.
Needless to say, I was unable to conclude the transaction for which I got the money. And it cost me a lot in Naira.
So these days, I have engaged the services of the carpenter near my home. He will build me a wooden chest that I can put under my bed. I will be my teller, customer rep, branch manager and if I pray hard, I believe the money will multiply under my bed.
And when I begin to earn in the trillions like Nigeria, then I will open a bank(my bank) and store my money. You better believe.
And if you decide to tail me home, you need to remember that I have watched a gazillion spy movies and it will be difficult for me not to see you. Experiences (Chuck, Alias, Justified
Y'all better follow me and do the same.
Just through my eyes darlings!
Have a good evening!


  1. I feel u o! Union Bank first, we had one in sch and were required to pay sch fees and other dues there. It was uaually a trying period with their old, overaged and outdated staff.
    Gone are those days when your money multiplies in the bank, interests and etc. These days your money reduces every month with cot, bank charges, atm charges etc. Who still saves money in d bank pls????

  2. Poor Customer service in Nigeria! Check out

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