Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Hi Kettle. I am pot!

She looked demure enough. Richard thought as he 'scoped' the shapely girl who just got down from her vehicle at the Car Wash on Bar beach road in Victoria Island.
He observed her features and thought this will be a suitable political wife.
And as they started chatting, he became even confident that this woman was the right woman for him.
She was gentle, kind and spoke her mind when she felt the need to, what was not to love about her?
She was the perfect spouse for a governor's son.
They got married in the lavish wedding that everyone spoke about. Her dress was made to fit by Vera Wang. The food was catered by Chefs brought in specially from France. The guests were given tickets to Dubai as party favors. It was the landmark for expensive weddings from tip to tail. The wedding party lasted three days. (Like I said, He was the son of the governor)
Everyone was overjoyed by the marriage and secretly envied the life they suspected they would have together. They were a sight to behold. They were poster couple for perfection!
A month after their wedding Lola was enjoying bliss. Marriage was good. And she wanted to do anything and everything to please Richard.  She was singing in her mezzo-soprano voice and taking his dirty clothes to the laundry when she found a packet of condoms for 6 in his suit jacket. Three of it was missing. She went numb and prayed that it was a mix up of some sorts.
Within the next three months, friends and even her mum reported that they saw Richard in awkward positions with strange women in Bars, Hotels etc. She was confused. Richard said to her she was perfect so why was he doing all of this? And despite what anyone would think she was willing to work hard they could have a good marriage.
After six months of several unexplained incidents, Lola confronted Richard with all the rumors she heard and Richard burst out laughing.
He said 'Lola, you are perfect because you are naive and don't give me stress. Yes, I sleep with other women, you have to understand, I am too much for one woman'
She stared in shock at the back of the man she called husband and wondered what had she gotten herself into?
One year later, Richard took an early flight back home because of some documents he needed for a meeting in Abuja. He rushed up the stairs into their bedroom and found his wife having sex with a strange man on their matrimonial bed. He stood there and muttered to Lola 'How could you?'
Lola got up calmly, smiled and walked straight to Richard and in a cocky flawless husky drawl that would make a man blush, she said ' Hi Kettle. I am pot!'


  1. Wow! Mad ass wife! Not so naïve afta all!

    1. Yes hun, mad ass woman. She developed some evil backbone.

  2. Replies
    1. Dapo, you sound like a male Votron, Am I right? lol