Damn that guy is ''hmmmm'' Adesuwa exclaimed as she pouted her lips in amazement.
She had gone to visit her friend Chinasa at GTbank and she saw a guy she would later on know as Olakunle in the banking hall. He was 6ft plus tall, charming by the sound of the laughter of the men that he was chatting with, dressy by the way he rocked his patent leather shoes and khaki. And when he laughed, it sounded heavenly.
Adesuwa was struck.
A week went by and Adesuwa could not take her mind off Kunle he was everything she dreamt about in a man. As she lay in the living room of the 2 bedroom flat that her parents got her in Lekki, she made up her mind that she would have Kunle
She set her plans in motion.
She googled him, searched for him on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. She was able to piece his likes, dislikes, friends, girls he had dated before etc. She added him as a friend on facebook.
Two days went by and Kunle still had not accepted her request. This was despite the fact that she had downloaded a direct Facebook messanger application on her Iphone to monitor his account.
She decided to put in a bit more action. She got her Samsung Galaxy phone and took pictures of herself in different postures. She edited them on her phone and uploaded them on her facebook page.
Kunle added her in an hour.
This meant that she could study every post, every picture till she was able to get a schedule of his life. First off, she checked his relationship status. His status said he was single, her friend Sheila said he was single.
It was time to swoop in.
Kunle was going to be hers'
Her on-going investigation from his twitter rant revealed that he would be watchung the El Classico match at the GIE viewing center. She was glad.It was just a 15minutes drive from her bachelorette pad.
After the initial joy, she got down and began to google information on both teams. She spent three hours learning the history of both teams, the names of the footballers, coaches. To wrap up her investigation, she ordered her tee shirt that said 'I worship at the temple of Ronaldo'.
On the day of the match, she arrived at the viewing center about 15mins and before the match was scheduled to begin and sat in the latest model of her RAV 4. Kunle came in about 5minutes before the match and hurried into the viewing center. Like a lion pursuing its prey, she made her way into the viewing center.
From the door of the viewing center, she spotted him in a corner and braced herself for the task in front of her. She conveniently bumped into him and in the usual 'Oh my God, what are you doing here? lyric, she inserted herself by his side for the whole of the game.
He had no idea what she was up to and genuinely laughed at the inscription of her tee shirt and told her jokingly to pray that Barcelona won or he would rip the tee shirt off her and make a bonfire with it.
They argued about the game and like the wiles of the women of old, she cornered her prey.
A romance began.
One year later, they walked down the aisle.
Phew. She had gotten what she wanted. She was Mrs. Essien (not mine, thank you!)
But none of her scheming prepared her for life after. It didn't prepare her for the fact that Kunle was a cult boy who regularly met his 'brothers' twice every month.
Nothing prepared her for his instructions to prepare jollof rice with goat's blood at the naming ceremony of their daughter.
She was confused, who was scheming who? But her heartache had only just begun.
So girl, stop scheming! You will get caught up in the web of your scheme. Don't imagine that diabolical means begin and end with you. Let God lead aright!
There is a silent competition going on and only I know the parameters for judging. Please watch out for the winner on the 1st of May, 2013.