Friday, 15 March 2013

A.B- the heart of a true friend.

From my post, I am sure a lot of people have come to the conclusion that I am weird and I love to push boundaries. I believe that I have changed some but I guess I am what I am.

We knew the same people, I loved rap music and he rapped (as a hobby). I still remember him spitting his raps. I thought it was cool. I thought he was cool. I had found a friend that didn't want anything from me, didn't hang out with me for who I knew. Someone that was just real.

We became friends so fast. There was no 'boyfriend/girfriend' thoughts, just a guy who chose to look out for a lady (he was 6 years older than me)

From 2002, we checked on each other regularly. Then I got to Year 4, and my best friend asked me to marry him. I was shocked. (where did that come from?)

I ran. I was terrified. I was afraid of marriage.

I stayed away from my best friend for two years.

Someday in July, 2007, as I was getting back into the country, he called. It was like fresh water. My best friend that I loved had returned to me no strings attached.

We stayed in touch, he would spend so much time listening to me at night when I complained about everything; 'the current boyfriend', my closeness to God, my sometimes snobbish attitude, my fears, my weird decisions (like wanting to join the police force, wanting to run a brick industry etc). What shade of Brazillian hair I wanted to buy. I told him the things I did wrong (He was like a priest who listened to confessions. lol).

I felt stronger because I knew him.

Then I started working...it was hard for me to adjust to the new settings at the workplace. A.B would call everymorning by 6am to pray with me so I could face the day. When anything happened, I called him because he was mature and always gave me a birdview of the situation.

Then he got dumped by his fiance (I won't comment) and for the first time, it was my turn to be there for my best friend. I ran to see him. He was a mess.

The friend I relied on for the last 8 years did not have a clue about what to do next. I was shocked but I made up my mind that I would be there for my best friend.

The constant speaking sparked emotions I didn't know I had. I began to see him differently, began to think like he did many years ago. I began to wonder what life would be like with him.

Things were complicated.

I had just started dating my husband, his own ex-fiance was giving him 'on and off' signals. It was like I said really complicated.

But my best friend wasn't confused anymore. He wanted to marry me. He wanted to be a big brother to my siblings.

And even though he lived in Ikeja, he thought about moving to the Island to 'woo' me away from ...

My head was spinning. What was a girl supposed to do?

Then she came back. After months of disappearing, the ex-fiance came back asking to reconnect with him. He knew what he wanted but did I?

That sunday morning, he called me and asked me to make a choice between him and my husband.

I chose my husband.

They got married and we got married.

I cannot quantify how much of a friend I lost because we drew lines. He and I don't speak anymore. I wonder why we can't remain just friends? Why we can't be friends because we are married? (and y'all with fast forward minds should slow down) 

I lost the wealth of the heart of a true friend.

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