Thursday, 28 March 2013

Change (Talk or Action): The Destiny Trust Org!

They didn't know I watched from afar.
I watched as they placed those kids over themselves. How could they forget their personal problems and focus on the problems of other people in such magnitude? ( I couldn't, I still cannot. I am like most people 'self-involved'). But they did.
I noticed, when they used most of their finances to settle children, I noticed when they took road trips every saturday to other towns like Ibadan to return children living in Kuramo back to their parents.
I mean after working the horrible hours they do at their day job, monday to friday, they use the weekends to follow through on their desire to nurture children into trees of Righteousness.
Truth. I admired them. I wanted so much to do what they were doing but like I said earlier. I am self-involved.
I had the privilege of watching them at close quarters as they sometimes used their last resources to make a child happy.
Today I highlight this group because they have made a difference by sheer tenacity and focus.
Did you know that many of the children that live in Kuramo Beach ran away from home sometimes for something as stupid as breaking a plate? Did you know that Destiny Trust Org relocated a mother with three children to a 3 bedroom flat in Awoyaya.
They do. They just don't talk the talk.

This is what they do and who they are:
The Destiny Trust is a specific social initiative aimed at addressing the needs of abused, neglected and homeless children through an integrated range of assistance which include provision of shelter, food, education, guidance, health care, mentoring, counseling and other child support services. We are committed to providing as many of these homeless children, that our resources can cater to an atmosphere of love, security, guidance, motivation, discipline and acceptance where they can grow as a total man, recover from trauma, and live to the full extent of their potentials in life despite the initial negative childhood experiences.
Our passion is to save the destiny of vulnerable children who would have no hope except for this coordinated intervention. By bringing hope to their world, we can make our world a safe place to live in. Through a pilot plan called the Kuramo Intervention Project, the Trust has relocated at least 11 children from Kuramo and other inner city slums along the Atlantic Ocean and provides for the continuing care, education, shelter and guidance of these children.
The Destiny Trust works through a group of young professionals who share a passion to make a real difference in the lives of the growing number of homeless children who roam around their work environment. This group, comprising mostly young lawyers from a few law firms and in-house of corporate organizations, carries out the operational and managerial functions of the organization under the guidance of the Board of Trustees.
The Board of Trustees:

1. Prof. Yemi Osinbajo, S.A.N

2. Mrs. Mabel Irukera

3. Mrs. Ngozi Ken Udochukwu
The Kuramo Intervention Project

The Kuramo Intervention Project is targeted at rescuing homeless children from the various slums along the Lagos coastline. Although a fun hide-out, the relatively subdued story about some of the beach resorts on the Atlantic is that they are also haven to squatters, criminals, commercial sex workers and drug addicts. The Kuramo shoreline is an unpleasant metaphor for poverty and social inequity.
Scores of homeless children who have fled home or have become orphaned live on the beachfront begging, hawking, smoking, drinking, doing illicit drugs and some young girls are used for commercial sex work. They are also exposed to a dangerous living condition. In August 2012, an ocean surge swept off about 16 people, including some homeless children who live on the Kuramo shoreline.
These children are not asking for too much. They only want a bit of the basic necessities that will tip them in the right direction in life -a safe place to lay their heads at night, food, education and the opportunity to grow in an atmosphere of love, acceptance and guidance. With continuing exposure to the inhuman living condition and lifestyle on the street, these homeless children are losing their humanity and may well be the next disaster if they are not rescued.
The success of this intervention lies in the story of lives that have been transformed from the destitution of life. Through this initiative, the Trust is rehabilitating some of these children and has relocated at least 11 children from the Streets. The Trust provides food, clothing, education, health care, guidance, counseling, mentoring and other child protective services to the resettled children in various domestic settings
The Trust also organizes periodic Soup Kitchens at the Kuramo Beach and other settlements along the Atlantic. The Soup Kitchen provides an environment for close interaction with street children in order to understand their condition and how we can help.
The mid-term plan is to establish a multi-purpose instructional/recreational facility with focus on holistic human development including character, literacy, creativity and civic responsibility. Street children can go through rehabilitation, integrate into the society, rediscover their role as citizens, explore their creativity and contribute to the task of nation building.
Our Approach:

The Destiny Trust works through various schemes which include:

Emergency Shelter

We provide emergency shelter or temporary accommodation to identified street children and meet their immediate needs such as food, clothing and medical care. Our dedicated team gains the confidence of the children, and understands their circumstance in life through appropriate counseling approaches.
We investigate the circumstance that rendered them homeless and depending on the outcomes, we assist children to trace their family, and reunite with their families. We also carry out necessary follow-up and provide appropriate child protective services within the setting of their biological family.
Foster Care

We believe that every child deserves a home. Our desire is that every child grows up healthy and strong within the biological family. However, where efforts to reunite a child with his/her family are unsuccessful or where the child is orphaned or the home cannot offer an environment for the child to grow and live a responsible and successful life, providing a foster home becomes the last resort. Starting from April 2013, the Trust will establish a foster home to address some of these cases already encountered during the initial phase of the project. The foster home is critical to the sustainability of the rehabilitation process and the entire programme.
At the Foster Home, The Destiny Trust will work consistently for the total development of every member of the family. The focus transcends the provision of the mundane needs for basic existence. Ultimately, our desire is to help each member of the family to identify his/her strength and potentials, and define within that self-concept, his role as a member of the society. We intend to bring up every member of the family in the fear of God and also to transform the hitherto traumatizing childhood experience into a creative spark, curiosity and zeal for social change. This is how we evolve a generation of future leaders and exemplary citizens in Nigeria.

Family Support

The Family Support initiative targets addressing the specific challenges of the identified children’s families in cases where children have run away from home due to some forms of pressure and family imbalances. We adopt creative approaches depending on the peculiarities of each. For example, where the problem is poverty or inability of the parents to adequately provide for the needs of the children, we seek means of financial empowerment to ensure the child development within the biological family

 Get Involved!

We seek to partner with individuals and corporate organizations who share our passion to make a real difference in the lives of homeless children to assist in various aspects of the project. Generally, individuals are encouraged to sign in as financial partners, care giver, teacher, or child sponsor/mentor. The Trust graciously accepts gifts of food items, clothing, books, and home appliances.
For corporate organizations, we appreciate an opportunity to leverage on the corporate social responsibility programme through partnership and endorsement of this cause. Our Project Team will be greatly delighted to meet you to discuss the details of this corporate partnership and share your insightful ideas on how to increase the charity’s capacity to bring hope to more street children.

Account details: The Destiny Trust Children Foundation, GT Bank Plc. Acc. No: 0124940702

Correspondence: No. 4A Ademola Street, SW Ikoyi, Lagos, Phone No: +2348034651702, +2348055163786, +2348095825538,


Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Spontaneous Snitches

This phrase describes children!

If you don't believe me, try this experiment!

Gather a few children together, leave them for an hour.
 Two things will be guaranteed when you return, they will upset something and snitch about it instantly to the adult upon return.

Y'all know this is true na.

But this phrase also describes.........wait for it........ the office mole(s)

The mole or snitch is the person ones who 'gist' the boss about the happenings in the office in an attempt to curry favor or some form of loyalty from the Boss. And in a place where there are multiple bosses, most sintches choose camps. Some employees have justified their behaviour to mean' Emotional Intelligence" Na so. This is because the unwritten rule is that when you stay loyal to the Boss, you are guaranteed protection.

In reality, it is like the Mafia. You stay loyal to the Boss and the Boss protects you to the full extent of his powers.

 Some of you reading this know that you have the SS Logo (Substantial Snitch, Spontaneous Snitch) watermarked into your skin, it is the only way you know how to live. You really don't know how to relate with people at work so you suck up to your boss for everything! You tell him what time A&B resume every morning, you shout so loud on the intercom so that your boss can hear that you are following up your underlings, you report people who tweet and facebook during hours (even though its during their lunch hour). All because you want to enjoy the 'management' power you think you have, all because you know the employee you are snitching on will expose your atrocities if he is promoted to your level.
Newsflash hun, your boss ain't stupid. He knows exactly what you are and what you do!
He may promote you so that you can feed him news about the people that murmur against his dictatorship but the truth is you are never going to rise above his heel.
Now Run and tell them I wrote this post about you!
I'll just sit in my corner and wait for your "Jack tumbling down the hill" fall.
And once again, I would be proven right.
Have a good evening everyone
P.s I heard this phrase from my brother Victor when he described some kids.

Who runs the world??? (In Beyonce's voice)

China and not girls!  (Well maybe both of them, let not men twist my ankle)
As a people and a country, China has transformed as people once known as Kung Fu fighters and sweat shops workers to inventors, 'dubist' etc. They are steadily controlling the economic power of the world. Most things we use today; the Ipad, the phone, underwear, clothes, shoes are made in China.
The People's Republic of China known as 'China' is radically different from the Republic of China 'Taiwan'. The PRC which we know as China is a Socialist State, even though political students largely record it as a Socialist state with Chinese characteristics.
China is made up of 22 provinces, 5 Autonomous Regions, 4 Muncipalities. As at 2013, it is the world 2nd largest economy by both nominal total GDP & Purchasing Power Parity (PPP). In addition, it has the largest standing army in the world.
Critics, Economist & Politicians say it is a potential superpower.
They have developed education with emphasis on Science, Maths and Engineering. They are Information Technology savvy as statistics show that they have the largest number of active cell phones in the world.
So how are they running the world?
Look around you, the Chinese people are everywhere. They don't hide behind the bullet proof vehicles or act snobbish like the American people (Ooooops I said that aloud, didn't I?). They take the same bus you do, buy from the same market you do. They learn your culture and use it to relate with you( I speak from experience)
I have had reason to believe that Nigeria especially Lagos is selling off our state piece by piece to the Chinese. There is little or nothing they are not involved in. Most of the goods sold in Balogun market come from China. The Chinese are laying the tracks for one of the Light Rail phases in Lagos State. They are heavily invested in the Eko Atlantic City, they own infrastructure companies, Telecom companies etc.
But Nigeria, we sit and squander money. Our leaders think buying the newest car, House or Jet will make the hole in their hearts disappear. They have steadily mortgaged our land and our future to Foreigners. Check it out (They live in the good homes, yea, those apartments in Ikoyi that run in thousands of dollars,) while China supports its citizens financially to infiltrate other countries and gain economic strength. 
So while we wait for other nations like America's Joel Brinkley to tell us to impeach our obvious money embezzling president, China 'codedly' puts plans in place to run the world.
Y'all better go and learn Chinese so you won't be sold under the new world Order.
It is just through my eyes.

Monday, 25 March 2013


In my late teens and early twenties, anytime I saw a man or woman from Akwa-Ibom or Cross River State, I would laugh till my intestines hurt. Their language was so funny. And like every ignorant girl, I thought Nigeria was just made up of Yorubas, Igbos and 'Hausas.'
Infact I remember walking into a toilet stall when I overheard some people speaking in a language, I kept trying over and over to decipher if it was the Chinese language or if it was the Efik/Ibibio Language. It turned out to be some ladies speaking Efik.
That day, I crowned them 'Nigerian Chinese' (of course, it was said silently in my mind, those ladies looked mean!)
At every turn when I saw them, I laughed at their language because well, it just seemed funny. The rise and fall of the pitch and tongue twisting words seemed impossible to comprehend and worthy of laughter or so I thought.
Years later, I am married to a 'Nigerian Chinese' and I have to learn the language. (Yes oh, don't want anyone abusing me or selling me to the highest bidder)
And the first word I have learnt is 'Mbok'
So please as I start to speak this language, please please do not laugh at me (already my mbok sounds very funny) because I know what goes around comes around. God please take this cup away from me! lol
Have a good evening!

Friday, 22 March 2013

Who do we blame?

Anabelle grew up in the church, both her parents were Deacons.
She felt stifled with all the rules, how about her? All she wanted was to live life to the fullest. She wanted to wear make-up, trousers, body hugs and have a boyfriend. Every girl had a boyfriend now(but her parents had told her she could only court the man she was to marry? what nonsense) Everywhere she went, people expected her to have the halo of angels on her, did they not know that she was just a girl, a growing swan?
Her parents were the ordained ministers, why would their decision shadow her life?
And even though she had been taught and shown the right path, she wanted to experience life on her own! After all, she was a big girl.
Then she met Victor.
They met at a mutual friend's birthday party. He was shy and about 10 years older, he was a media executive for one of the telecoms story in Nigeria. The way he spoke to her, he made her feel smart and beautiful. He was sweet, he was sensitive, he was so amazing.
His shyness was an aphrodisiac to her. His shyness was perfect for her boisterous attitude.
Only one problem.
He was very married.
But putting her values aside, she began dating, meeting secretly at hotels and rendevous points. He was in love with her. She was in love with him. It was not her fault. It was the wife's fault. What kind of woman would leave this amazing man alone in Nigeria to live in another country. It was the wife's mistake she rationalized despite the fact that her conscience struggled with her over and over again).
They had dated for a year when she became pregnant. She was scared. She did not want to her parents but she certainly was not going to give up a love child with the man of her dreams.
But she managed to tell her parents about the decision she had reached and in the midst of tears, they watched as their daughter walked away from their lives.
Victor got her an apartment in Lekki and life seemed too good to be true. He was the perfect spouse and when she gave birth to their daughter Parissa at the Premier Hospital, he was there crying and overjoyed. What could go wrong? 
At this point, Victor said he was finally ready to divorce his wife.
Anabelle was not sure what to think, the fact that she was responsible for destroying a marriage weighed heavy on her but no stray emotions was going to get in the way of her happiness. Life couldn't be sweeter.
Then the weird symptoms started, she did investigative tests and found out she was HIV Positive. Victor stayed with her during the tests as they tried to work out the best way to live a full life with it. Strange though was that Victor was tested negative. But her metamorphosed into  full blown AIDS in one year. Her mind could not deal with it, where and when did she contact this deadly disease?
She told Victor. She was sure he would be there for her at this time too He had been there when she was diagnosed with HIV.  Had they not spent the last 5 years together?
At the latest news, Victor stopped all divorce proceedings against his wife and sought reconciliation with her. He soon joined his wife in Canada.
Anabelle was mortified. Who would care for her beautiful daughter Parissa? Her parents had died in a motor accident the year before. Victor did not seem so interested in caring for Parisssa. Her 2yr old daughter would be an orphan.
She then wished she had listened. Listened to the voice that steered her in the honourable path. She chose 'love' over a career, over her parents.
The 'love' had finally killed her.
Parissa is 10 now with no mum and no dad and lives in an orphanage.
Who is to blame in all of this?

Thursday, 21 March 2013

We have no voice! Help Us!

So today I planned to regale you with a post on the Dabbawala service of the Indian people when one of my baby girls came in to the office. (Don't worry, that is coming up)

So we did a little catching up.

In between somehow (yes, I know it is repitition, but it sounds good) we started talking about employers that are fraudulent.
She told me her story.
She worked in an energy company as a company secretary.
First it started as a whisper 'the company had not paid salaries in 8 months' But at the end of the month she received her salary. Then the whispers became murmurs. She began to fret and worry if her great plan of joining this company had been a good decision.
But why did they have this problem?

She just signed agreements on behalf of the company to purchase a property worth billions of naira. And did they just not buy a vessel to cargo their energy products? How could a company who hired people with family and bills decide arbitrarily to place the needs of the company above that of its staff.
It did not stop there. Rumor also had it that they hold the salary of an employee for months till he leaves and then employ another staff, pay him for a month or two and hold his salary for months till he is forced to leave

I was incensed.
This was mordern day robbery? (If you are sinister, it is quite brilliant)

Was there no regulatory agency to monitor the acts of the various employers?

Hers is not the only weird story I have heard in a while.

I have heard MD's terminating employments because a staff refused to be part of his fraudulent activities.

I have heard Management deduct from salary arbitrarily.

I have heard about Management that verbally abuse employees and in some cases do bodily harm to the employees.
But can they speak? No! If they get sacked, how would they find a job in this bad economy. They are struggling to pay school fees, pay rent, and the thought of buying a vehicle is increasingly becoming a mirage?

So I checked the Labour Act, the foremost legislation meant to regulate employer/employee relationship. Despite the fact that it is an ancient Act, I was more pissed by the penalties of N500.00 (five hundred naira) or eight hundred naira listed as punishments for defaulters. How is this law not given appropriate attention?

 I silently wonder when the national assembly will eventually get to reviewing the Act.

Before then , I guess the people who don't know what their rights are will be treated unfairly by men who think that because the own the business they own our lives.
Lets hope you and I will make a difference when we become employers of labour.
Treat everyone with respect!

I see dumb people

Everywhere I go these days, I see dumb people.

The lady who walks around in uncomfortable 6inches shoes for a job that involves a lot of walking around.

The lady that wears clothes that do not flatter her body type.

The man that knows his fiance is nothing but a gold digging chic.

The lady that spends all day shouting at her husband like a bush market woman.

The man that says there is no God!

The guy that spends half of his salary drinking alcohol and then complains that Nigeria is terrible and that is why his life is not moving on.

The lady that sleeps around and wonders why no one who love her for who she is.

The employee that insists that his employer is unfair when he spends half of his worktime on Facebook.

The person that is envious of his friends progress but spends all the time at the movies, at clubs and when he has a moment, he sleeps all day.

The person that does not use his talent in anyway to make money.

The parents that complain that their children are so lazy when all they do is sit and watch home videos. Who exactly are they supposed to emulate?

The woman that won't take care of her body and complains that her husband is cheating.

The man that won't provide for his family and complains to anyone who will hear that his wife is disrespectful.

The new graduate that is totally relying on an uncle to get him a job.

Like I say, it is through my eyes. Now I am 'picking race' before I get slapped. lol.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Hi Kettle. I am pot!

She looked demure enough. Richard thought as he 'scoped' the shapely girl who just got down from her vehicle at the Car Wash on Bar beach road in Victoria Island.
He observed her features and thought this will be a suitable political wife.
And as they started chatting, he became even confident that this woman was the right woman for him.
She was gentle, kind and spoke her mind when she felt the need to, what was not to love about her?
She was the perfect spouse for a governor's son.
They got married in the lavish wedding that everyone spoke about. Her dress was made to fit by Vera Wang. The food was catered by Chefs brought in specially from France. The guests were given tickets to Dubai as party favors. It was the landmark for expensive weddings from tip to tail. The wedding party lasted three days. (Like I said, He was the son of the governor)
Everyone was overjoyed by the marriage and secretly envied the life they suspected they would have together. They were a sight to behold. They were poster couple for perfection!
A month after their wedding Lola was enjoying bliss. Marriage was good. And she wanted to do anything and everything to please Richard.  She was singing in her mezzo-soprano voice and taking his dirty clothes to the laundry when she found a packet of condoms for 6 in his suit jacket. Three of it was missing. She went numb and prayed that it was a mix up of some sorts.
Within the next three months, friends and even her mum reported that they saw Richard in awkward positions with strange women in Bars, Hotels etc. She was confused. Richard said to her she was perfect so why was he doing all of this? And despite what anyone would think she was willing to work hard they could have a good marriage.
After six months of several unexplained incidents, Lola confronted Richard with all the rumors she heard and Richard burst out laughing.
He said 'Lola, you are perfect because you are naive and don't give me stress. Yes, I sleep with other women, you have to understand, I am too much for one woman'
She stared in shock at the back of the man she called husband and wondered what had she gotten herself into?
One year later, Richard took an early flight back home because of some documents he needed for a meeting in Abuja. He rushed up the stairs into their bedroom and found his wife having sex with a strange man on their matrimonial bed. He stood there and muttered to Lola 'How could you?'
Lola got up calmly, smiled and walked straight to Richard and in a cocky flawless husky drawl that would make a man blush, she said ' Hi Kettle. I am pot!'

Monday, 18 March 2013

Damn Girl, you're diabolical! Or are you?

Damn that guy is ''hmmmm'' Adesuwa exclaimed as she pouted her lips in amazement.

She had gone to visit her friend Chinasa at GTbank and she saw a guy she would later on know as Olakunle in the banking hall. He was 6ft plus tall, charming by the sound of the laughter of the men that he was chatting with, dressy by the way he rocked his patent leather shoes and khaki. And when he laughed, it sounded heavenly. 
Adesuwa was struck.

A week went by and Adesuwa could not take her mind off Kunle he was everything she dreamt about in a man. As she lay in the living room of the 2 bedroom flat that her parents got her in Lekki, she made up her mind that she would have Kunle

She set her plans in motion.
She googled him, searched for him on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. She was able to piece his likes, dislikes, friends, girls he had dated before etc. She added him as a friend on facebook.
Two days went by and Kunle still had not accepted her request. This was despite the fact that she had downloaded a direct Facebook messanger application on her Iphone to monitor his account.

She decided to put in a bit more action. She got her Samsung Galaxy phone and took pictures of herself in different postures. She edited them on her phone and uploaded them on her facebook page.
Kunle added her in an hour. 
This meant that she could study every post, every picture till she was able to get a schedule of his life. First off, she checked his relationship status. His status said he was single, her friend Sheila said he was single.
It was time to swoop in. 
Kunle was going to be hers'
Her on-going investigation from his twitter rant revealed that he would be watchung the El Classico match at the GIE viewing center. She was glad.It was just a 15minutes drive from her bachelorette pad.  
After the initial joy, she got down and began to google information on both teams. She spent three hours learning the history of both teams, the names of the footballers, coaches. To wrap up her investigation, she ordered her tee shirt that said 'I worship at the temple of Ronaldo'.
On the day of the match,  she arrived at the viewing center about 15mins and before the match was scheduled to begin and sat in the latest model of her RAV 4. Kunle came in about 5minutes before the match and hurried into the viewing center. Like a lion pursuing its prey, she made her way into the viewing center. 
From the door of the viewing center, she spotted him in a corner and braced herself for the task in front of her. She conveniently bumped into him and in the usual 'Oh my God, what are you doing here? lyric, she inserted herself by his side for the whole of the game.
He had no idea what she was up to and genuinely laughed at the inscription of her tee shirt and told her jokingly to pray that Barcelona won or he would rip the tee shirt off her and make a bonfire with it.
They argued about the game and like the wiles of the women of old, she cornered her prey. 
A romance began.
One year later, they walked down the aisle.
Phew. She had gotten what she wanted. She was Mrs. Essien (not mine, thank you!)
But none of her scheming prepared her for life after. It didn't prepare her for the fact that Kunle was a cult boy who regularly met his 'brothers' twice every month.
Nothing prepared her for his instructions to prepare jollof rice with goat's blood at the naming ceremony of their daughter.
She was confused, who was scheming who? But her heartache had only just begun.
So girl, stop scheming! You will get caught up in the web of your scheme. Don't imagine that diabolical means begin and end with you. Let God lead aright!
There is a silent competition going on and only I know the parameters for judging. Please watch out for the winner on the 1st of May, 2013.

Friday, 15 March 2013

The cycle of violence

At the comment box, leave your own idea of what you think of the cycle of violence.

Today, I want to hear from you.

A.B- the heart of a true friend.

From my post, I am sure a lot of people have come to the conclusion that I am weird and I love to push boundaries. I believe that I have changed some but I guess I am what I am.

We knew the same people, I loved rap music and he rapped (as a hobby). I still remember him spitting his raps. I thought it was cool. I thought he was cool. I had found a friend that didn't want anything from me, didn't hang out with me for who I knew. Someone that was just real.

We became friends so fast. There was no 'boyfriend/girfriend' thoughts, just a guy who chose to look out for a lady (he was 6 years older than me)

From 2002, we checked on each other regularly. Then I got to Year 4, and my best friend asked me to marry him. I was shocked. (where did that come from?)

I ran. I was terrified. I was afraid of marriage.

I stayed away from my best friend for two years.

Someday in July, 2007, as I was getting back into the country, he called. It was like fresh water. My best friend that I loved had returned to me no strings attached.

We stayed in touch, he would spend so much time listening to me at night when I complained about everything; 'the current boyfriend', my closeness to God, my sometimes snobbish attitude, my fears, my weird decisions (like wanting to join the police force, wanting to run a brick industry etc). What shade of Brazillian hair I wanted to buy. I told him the things I did wrong (He was like a priest who listened to confessions. lol).

I felt stronger because I knew him.

Then I started was hard for me to adjust to the new settings at the workplace. A.B would call everymorning by 6am to pray with me so I could face the day. When anything happened, I called him because he was mature and always gave me a birdview of the situation.

Then he got dumped by his fiance (I won't comment) and for the first time, it was my turn to be there for my best friend. I ran to see him. He was a mess.

The friend I relied on for the last 8 years did not have a clue about what to do next. I was shocked but I made up my mind that I would be there for my best friend.

The constant speaking sparked emotions I didn't know I had. I began to see him differently, began to think like he did many years ago. I began to wonder what life would be like with him.

Things were complicated.

I had just started dating my husband, his own ex-fiance was giving him 'on and off' signals. It was like I said really complicated.

But my best friend wasn't confused anymore. He wanted to marry me. He wanted to be a big brother to my siblings.

And even though he lived in Ikeja, he thought about moving to the Island to 'woo' me away from ...

My head was spinning. What was a girl supposed to do?

Then she came back. After months of disappearing, the ex-fiance came back asking to reconnect with him. He knew what he wanted but did I?

That sunday morning, he called me and asked me to make a choice between him and my husband.

I chose my husband.

They got married and we got married.

I cannot quantify how much of a friend I lost because we drew lines. He and I don't speak anymore. I wonder why we can't remain just friends? Why we can't be friends because we are married? (and y'all with fast forward minds should slow down) 

I lost the wealth of the heart of a true friend.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Jonathan has instituted a committee to find out the official website of NSCDC! Say What?

The fact that you opened this post means that you are one of the people that believe that our leaders are daft. (Don't lie. You know you are thinking it.)

First off, it is not true! It is the conjecture of Seun Lawal(my weird besto).

But it is not beyond what they can do.

Doyin Okupe may sometime this week decide to use his 'powerful' office (that you and I pay for) to speak about a committie to investigate the website of NSCDC.

The line of their 'gongonsu' is not overrated. I mean they paid someone 2 million naira in 2011/2012 to open a facebook account for the federal government (Investigate, I ain't lying)

But about setting a committe to find the website of NSCDC, it is not true. (For now at least)

It is through my eyes oh, I don't want anybody tracking me down.

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Brad Pitt's furniture. Rate Good or Bad or who cares?

Ever since he hooked up with Miss Jolie, I have had this disturbing hate for him (yes I am a loyalist). But seems his boredom led him to create furniture with Frank Pollaro in 2012. I have my thoughts on his furniture. What are yours?

Downwards spiral ... 24-carat gold side table. Photograph: Pollaro Custom Furniture
Twisted ... dining table supported by a single squiggling line of timber. Photograph: Ellen McDermott/AD
Pitt stop … a fusion of doodles and deco. Photograph: Ellen McDermott
Making a splash ... marble bathtub for two. Image: Pollaro Custom Furniture

Rate the furniture!

As an aside, there is a silent competition going on. It is silent because only I know the parameters for judging. Look out for the winner on the 1st of May, 2013. (Then the parameters will be revealed|) hehe

Laugh all you want! You and I are part of the rot.

Yes, let us take a minute and laugh.


Let us proceed then.

When I saw this video ( last friday, I laughed so hard I fell down.

After my series of laughter, I unplugged my computer and made it my morning chore to show everyone in the office the video of this unintelligent being. (Or so my snobbish myopic self thought)

And y'all know my office with its incredible system of critical thinking, set about analysing the content of the video. They analysed his uniform, the presenter who steeled herself from laughing, the orange chairs in the setting, the weird books that lined the shelves. The office was abuzz with laughter and commentary.

Same happened with the husband on saturday when we had a quiet moment with each other (safe from the hustle and bustle of Lagos life). He laughed so much that he momentarily stopped breathing, almost kicking me as he rolled to the ground (I think he replayed it like 10 times sef  eager to relieve how a grown man in this age and time could do that. He loves to laugh at weird stuff and this fit weird to a D (I'll deny if if you tell him) lol.)

I was irritated by the man, did he not know he was representing us? Haba!

But as I thought over and over on this matter, I realised that this man was a product of both the educational system and atmosphere in Nigeria. He was a product of a half baked system and a  government dedicated to stealing money (Jonathan) abusing power (Tinubu & Jonathan) and selling votes (National Assembly).

How many schools in Lagos much less Nigeria have good teachers? Uhn? Which atmosphere in Nigeria is condusive for critical thinking?

The state of schools shine forth in this man. The number of secondary and universities that collect bribe before a student is admitted to school is amazing (Believe it, parents bribe their ways into those schools now. It is really a cancer) I believe strongly that the educational system of Nigeria wil get better once you place a ban on the children of politicians schooling outside Nigeria Your system will change within a year.

We do not understand that we are competing with the world. The world laughs at us because we take our hard earned money to their countries to better their societies while ours is used to furnish wives, mistresses, bullet proof vehicles (Akpabio), larger than life weddings etc.

In 1980, Mr. Shem was the leader of tommorrow. What did his teachers and country teach him? How did they develop his intellect then?

I can bet my life on the fact that Mr. Shem instructs cadets and teaches in some way the next generation. He has taught the next generation. (Yet the law of reproduction says you cannot give more than you have)

I have read so many articles about how Nigeria will not make it, how we are doomed, how we are finished. And I just laughed.

Truth is the government is not going to rescue us. The fate of Nigeria lies in your hands and mine. While you sit and laugh, some people are acting! One of my bosses uses his lunch hour on wednesday to teach a class of kids at the Victoria Island primary School. (You live for the latest fashion and wait for when you will be pictured on bellanaija as a stylish lady, you go wait tire!)

Are you still laughing?

What do you do? What have you done? It is not enough to go for some Charity event once in a while. What are you doing in your own little way to help Nigeria (oh I know, you report bad news and you think it will get you the much needed popularity? abi?) Get off your high horse, stop laughing and do something!

Obafaiye Shem might have created something to laugh about today, tommorrow it might be your uncle, your daughter, your spouse or someone incredibly close to you.
He is just a product of the system.

Stop laughing and do something!
As an aside, there is a silent competition going on. It is silent because only I know the parameters for judging. Look out for the winner on the 1st of May, 2013. (Then the parameters will be revealed|) hehe

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

You are not mine to throw away!

He pulled her with her weave and dragged her to the living room. He kicked her till she fell down in pain.

How could she have disobeyed his instruction not to dye her hair?

Did she not know she was mother to two children? Was her plan to get men chasing after her?. He asked.

He felt no remorse, only contentment. Yes. This is what men (his men) generations past had done to  erring women.

To him, his ideas of a woman was one who needed protection and one whose womb should be used to breed the next generation. After all, the bible she talked about so much called her kind 'the weaker sex'! His actions validated his beliefs.
This was one of the ways Dee routinely beat her.
It wasn't always this way.

Cece had fallen in love with this socially inept man, he had been shy, withdrawn and lacked self esteem. All she wanted to do was love on him and show him he was more that he thought. She knew he was a struggling man and she readied herself to endure with him till he 'made' it.
But marriage released a beast in this man she never knew existed. She endured every pain he threw at her convincing herself that every marriage went through problems, when in actual fact, he was destroying her self worth.
She couldn't pick up her phone when he was there. She couldn't laugh out of turn for fear of what he may do to her. She had to be careful what suggestions she gave regarding a matter so she didn't get a slap as trophy.
He womanized. He smoked.
He told her repeatedly that she was the worst thing that happened to him. She endured for the sake of her children.

She said it was like hell. As I sat and listened to her share, I realized that Cece had being a product of confused emotions at that time. She had loved a man who had no idea how to be a man.

Today, she has overcome. She fought the battle for her life and that of her husband. She rose above the hate she constantly felt, she prayed, she showed everyone especially God by nurturing the man he gave to her, back to him.

Today, he cannot do anything without her. He is ashamed of the wasted years. He wished he could take them away. But he swore that he would always put a smile on her face no matter what.

When I heard this, all I wanted to ask was why she endured so many years?

She replied 'I couldn't throw him away' Even if I made a mistake of marrying him, God honoured our marriage and he was mine. It was not my decision to give him up. God saw all he did to me. If he refused to change, I believed God would have done all that was necessary to take him away from me.

I marvelled at the wisdom of this woman. Rare. In a world when something's broke, you throw it away.

I don't know if I could have endured this. I do know that it would have required extra special grace.

As an aside, there is a silent competition going on. It is silent because only I know the parameters for judging. Look out for the winner on the 1st of May, 2013. (Then the parameters will be revealed|) hehe

The triumph of evil yet again-Harold Demuren

Yes. I believe the sack of Harold Demuren is the triumph of evil yet again.
Evil perpetuated by a senseless government.
Goodluck Jonathan ( I cannot bear to call him my president) shows yet again that he cannot be trusted with making fruitful decisions that affect Nigerians. (how can he when all the parts of his brain is geared towards how he can be re-elected)
Back to H.D. I join with those that know him to state that Harold Demuren is impressive. Read below and find out just how impressive he is.
Harold Demuren schooled in Moscow and MIT. According to Wikipedia he obtained a Master of Science in Aeronautical Engineering (M.Sc.) in 1972 and then to Massachusetts Institute of Technology (M.I.T.), Cambridge, Massachusetts, U.S.A. for his Doctor of Science D.Sc. in Aircraft Gas Turbine & Jet Propulsion Engines (1975).

H.D (for the purposes of this post) was head hunted from the USA to join the Federal Ministry of Aviation Nigeria in 1976 as Senior Airworthiness Surveyor and rose to become Assistant Director, Airworthiness in June 1989. On the creation of the defunct Federal Civil Aviation Authority in 1990, he was appointed Deputy Director Air Transport, Economic Regulations and Licensing. He rose to become the Director Safety Services in 1991. In August 1995, He was "forced" into retirement because of his strict adherence to Safety after a Government "restructuring" exercise. (See where I am going with this?)

In retirement, he formed Afrijet Airlines, till he was appointed as the Director General of the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority. He became DG at a time when Nigerians had lost hope in the aviation sector especially after the Bellview Airlines flight 210 that killed all 117 people on board on October 22, 2005 and Sosoliso Airlines flight 1145 that killed 105 of 108 passengers, including 61 students from Loyola Jesuit College on December 10, 2005.

 When Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab  failed in his attempt as the "Christmas Day Bomber' , HD provided information quickly. The global community was astonished at the degree of detail and depth of the information provided by a so-called 3rd world country in contrast to its reputation for chaos and mediocrity. Interestingly, Schipol, Amsterdam Airport, Farouk's transit port, was unable to detect any irregularity during the security screening process.

On August 23, 2010, under the leadership of HD and the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority, Nigeria attained American Federal Aviation Administration International Aviation Safety Assessment (FAA IASA) Category One Certification. This allows direct flights from Nigeria to Continental United States (USA). Prior to his appointment in 2005, there were no direct flights between Nigeria and USA. There are now several direct flights between Nigeria and U.S. destinations including Atlanta, New York and Washington D.C., with services to Houston to begin in November 2011.
In 2011, he led the investigation into British Airways and Virgin Atlantic Airline on anti-competitive pricing and anti-consumer activities. He was of the opinion that they abused Dominance. His investigation forced them to introduce same pricing equilibrium. In addition, he forced the fare between Ghana-UK route to par with the Nigeria-UK route.

Now he has been sacked because they say he refused to satisfactorily conduct the DANA case. I daresay, he did it a little too well. He was not going to bow to shifty ideals and results. And even though his tenure as DG statutorily ended last year february, I say this man refused to make his part of the Aviation sector a funnel for funds to hungry, sticky, illiterate, whore mongering Senators.
How do you justify taking out the one person in a hundred who actually cares about Nigerians?
I am waiting to see who they will appoint this time.
It is through my eyes and you cannot shut down my voice.

Monday, 11 March 2013

Doren Hospital misdiagnosed an ailment that could have killed me!

I struggled with whether to share this story and how much of it, I should.

I share so that you can look out and ask questions. You have just One Body. It can fail because some trained doctor did not bother to do proper investigative tests...

One saturday in July, I woke up in pain. I was feverish. I was tired. I could not explain what I was truly feeling. All I knew was I did not feel right.

I attributed it to the recent stress at work and was determined to rest the whole day despite the fact that saturdays are (cleaning and cooking days). Yes oh.

So I rested the whole of saturday confident that sunday would be better and I would be up and ready for work by monday.

Sunday dawned and I was feeling much better. By evening however, the fever had returned and I was in all shades of pain. Pain on my back but largely on my abdomen.

My husband decided to take me to Doren Specialist Hospital (his HMO hospital in Ajah). We got there and the doctor said she thought it might be Urinary Tract Infection or Acute appendicitis. Because of the pain they immediately placed me on IV and by the next morning, I had taken like 10. Subsequently they called the Chief Surgeon to take a look at me. He ordered that I do a scan on the 1st floor of their hospital to confirm his theory that it was acute appendicitis. I did the scan followed it with blood and urine tests.

Already, I was irritated with the quality of service in the hospital. The nurses were inefficient when they drew blood, my IV would run out for at least 30 minutes before the nurse would change it, blood would stain the sheets till I begged they be removed. I felt like I was in hell.

On seeing the result of my 'scan' the chief surgeon was convinced that I had acute appendicitis. At this point after seeing the wish washy attitude, I decided to google 'appendicitis'. My findings led me to ask the doctors if there were other ailments that may mirror the symptoms of appendicitis. One of them told me he was the doctor and what he said was the issue, was the issue. I shut my mouth (abi, it is law I read, I didn't read medicine).

Then came tuesday, the day prescribed for surgery. I was so upset. No one had come to explain anything ( I mean they were about to invade my body, the least they could do was give me detailed information of the procedure, I had a right to know. Didn't I?)

After I had nagged and screamed the hospital down, they eventually sent the anaesthetist to come and give me a 'detailed script' of how the surgery would go down. (Please pay attention to the 'detailed script', it is intended to be sarcastic, just in case the meaning is lost on you)

I went in. I did the surgery. I was bedhooked for 5days in the hospital and another 5 days at home.

The experience left a metallic taste in my mouth. What kind of hospital was that?

I resumed work in two weeks looking hot like fire and began to live life like nothing happened.

September came ( two months later). The pain resumed. Kai. What kind of wahala was this? Sebi they took out the acute appendicitis? (Guess my enemies were not happy. lol)

My sensitive and vigilant mum called. My dad said I should go to 'Mecure'. I did (they said I needed a doctor's referral). My mum insisted that I go see Aunty Mabel to take me to the Advanced Videoscopic and Laparascopy Center. Everyone was fretting. What was going on?

I went to see the physician at this new prescribed hospital. He examined me and told me he thought it was either a Liver disease or a condition known as Endometriosis.

He ordered me to go to a Consultancy and Investigative Center to do thorough tests like the ultra sound, CT Scan & Liver function test.

At the investigative center, they push liquid through my rectum for minutes, pump mixed 'liguids' through my arm. The result comes out. It shows clearly that Doren Specialist Hospital cut out my appendix for nothing.

I take it back to my physician. (Yes my doctor) who tells me to google the apparent issue and ask him questions. (See the difference between the doctor that got it right and the one that did not.)

I ask him all sorts of questions. He puts my mind at rest, gives me all the details necessary for a second necessary surgery.

I do the second surgery (a laparoscopy which shows that the appendix site was left in a way that could have messed up my intestines in a few months.) Phew. God is good.

I am not sharing this so that you can ooooh or aaah on my behalf. I am sharing so that you and your loved ones can pay attention to what is done to and on your body. No one knows it all. Ask about everything regarding your health. Pay attention to what they diagnose. Google. Google again. You and I can cause a change in the nefarious health system in Nigeria. Speak out.

Share this, it might just save a life.

Introducing; the offensive smell called...

Dude, please put down your armpit! ( I screamed from the back of my mind to the front of my mind). I could't shout it out. He was a friend and if I said anything, I was going to bruise his ego. (eeeeeeeewwww in multiples)

This is the situation many of us find ourselves in. That awkward moment when you are confronted with an unpleasant odour from a friend, a colleague, a spouse. (And even though the odour assails your nose, you keep your teeth from grinding together the words 'you smell' because well you cherish the person and you don't want him/her to feel bad.)

Real quick, let me explain that Odour is generally that offensive smell that comes from the armpit, genital area and the mouth.
Wikipedia says ; ''the human body odor is primarily the result of the apocrine sweat glands, which secrete the majority of chemical compounds needed for the skin flora to metabolize it into odorant substances.[1] This happens mostly in the axillary (armpit) region, although the gland can also be found in the areola, anogenital region, and around the navel.[2] In humans the armpit regions seem more important than the genital region for body odor which may be related to human bipedalism. The genital and armpit regions also contain springy hairs which help diffuse body odors''
So what do you do when someone around you has an offensive odour (mouth, armpit or genital? )You help!
The degree of closeness to a person may impede how he may perceive the help.
When I was tomboyish, my brother called me and told me I had an offensive smell whenever we rode home together after work. I won't bother denying that I was upset. But after a few days I rationalized that  my close friends did not tell me but my brother whom I hung out with had the audacity too. 
About the same time my boyfriend (now my husband) told me too about my body odour after like two months after dating. He even made it worse by going out to buy me some perfume and Sure spray) I prayed for the earth to swallow me. ( I mean this was a guy I had just met that I probably did shakara for now telling me I get the funky smell now and then. I just wanted to die.) I argued that I used the spray every morning and some perfume and he argued right back that 'I jumped from place to place all day and did not 'respray' so I would definately develop a funky smell by evening. 
I have since adjusted and done the same for one or two of my colleagues. People may retreat from you when you tell them they 'smell' but they will be eternally grateful that you took made the effort so that they may be perceived 'smellable' by the world.
For the one who has mouth odour, buy lots of mint sweets/gum and offer to the person regularly. It is a much better effort than sitting somewhere to gossip.
And as for the genital area, I would suppose the spouse will google and find what will solve the problem.
So if you have someone in your vicinity today who is generating all sorts of funky smell. Go out and buy some Sure Spray/mint gum, call them to a corner and explain how offensive their smell is and your desire to help them.
You will have made a true friend. You better believe it.

Friday, 8 March 2013

Blast from the past-The perm that got me a whooping

I have a wonderful dad. Truly wonderful.
I give this background so I can tell a little story.
When I was 8yrs old, I went to spend some days before christmas with my grandmother so I could be back home for christmas.
My grandmother loved me unconditionally and she showed it because there was nothing she wouldn't do for me. So I 'psyched' her (yea, I have been a psycher from the womb) to take me to the hair dressing salon to get a perm. I begged her with teary eyes, snifling and telling how I wanted a perm for christmas and wanted little curls like 'jerry curls' in them. (of course, I conveniently forgot to tell her that my dad had said I could not get a perm till I left secondary school)
She obliged me and got me my beautiful perm that I stood in the mirror, admiring for hours.
 I returned home early from my gran's on the 24th of December, ready to get my christmas on. I was eager to show all the other girls that I had gotten my perm too. (My little mind however didnt process the what if's) ( I reasoned that my daddy would see my beauty and forget that he gave me instructions earlier on the perm issue, I mean, I was cute na)
                                                                    Padre (Much Older & nicer)
My dad came in a little while later and saw my perm and in his typical fashion (he went in without saying a word). He came back out to the living room and asked me to choose between pouring water on my perm or giving me a whooping.

My little mind thought really quickly and asked him to give me a whooping. Because if I got the whooping at least my perm would be intact for Christmas day (or so I rationalized).
Somehow it seemed that my answer incensed my dad who immediately took me to the kitchen sink and poured water on my perm and gave me a whooping that I did not forget.
I daresay I did not get a perm till my first year in the university!
Lesson I learnt, I must be a parent to my children.
Have a wonderful weekend y'all and be good.