Tuesday, 26 February 2013

I still believe in 'Epe' (Yoruba word for curses)

I met her as a teenager and we struck a friendship that the would survive petty jealousies, boyfriends, absences and you know the usual.

We lost touch for a while  but when she heard i had a surgery, she came and stayed overnight to nuture me even though my house was knee high in a deserted area and she had to go to work early in the morning.

I give this background so you will understand the depth of love and history i have for and with this lady.

Then in our routine check-in's she says to me 'Ibilola, Emeka has a wife! He is married' The emoticon of the surprise i felt is yet to be created. My heart broke into a million pieces for my friend who had waited years beacuse a man gave her his word.

Yes, I know Emeka, I met him about 2005 when he pursued my friend Zainab with passion. He pursued her with love, attention, gifts. Everything a woman could think of.  Thinking back, I might have even beeng jealous. I desired what they had.

Everyone expected marriage at the rate they were going and Emeka did not disappoint. In 2010, he came back from an international trip and wowed everyone by proposing to my friend under the  skylights, music and food. Lots of it.

We put wedding plans into gear. We checked out halls, googled wedding dresses and shoes, checked out wedding bands, infact I offered to sing (and yes I can sing! ***ntohhhn***) cost of caterers, aso ebi, lingerie. Secretly,had planned to establish myself as a wedding planner of class with her wedding! I mean you know how we do!!! (Aderonke, yes, i borrowed your phrase, sue me!)

And then in February 2013, she received an international call from London, from a woman claiming to be Emeka's wife. She said they have been married since 2007. And as if that blow wasn't hard enough, the wife puts him on speaker phone and tells Emeka to tell Zainab. He did. He was married.

I try not to curse but I believe that a man who deceived another human being like that will swim in an ocean of 'epe'. You expect the lady to concentrate at work when all she will do is second guess herself, her worth, her values.

Congratulations Emeka, you have created a monster!!!

But she will rise above it, she has me and a host of friends who truly love her. She will get past this and she will love again.

I live the rest to Almighty God and I say Zainab, it may not look like it now but in the words of beyonce 'you dodged a bullet.'

Its just through my eyes>>>


  1. thats such a sad tale. what a messed up guy

  2. Absolutely messed up oh. Bad decisions that hurt another human being.

  3. Damn! Double damn!!! Pardon me, I couldn't help it